We have decided to add this section for couples that are new to toys and have need of some direction with capturing intimacy and developing sex skills.

Suggested toys for beginners

We believe the most important aspect of sexual intimacy is, just that, intimacy!

So, that being said, it is important for a woman to feel loved, charised and safe for great intimacy and sex. Men seem to be much simpler as to what is needed for sex to occur. Men seem to have more hang-ups than actual needs, in order for him to feel fully aroused and confident in the bedroom.  (Or anywhere else you may feel so inspired). From penis size to prolonged stamina, can all substantially limit his ability to perform in a way that he would find empowering to his libido.  So lets have a little chat from a women` s perspective and put some of these deflating myths out of the bed.

• Penis size  

The average penis length of a healthy male is just over 5 inches in length.  The bottom line is that nearly everyone is between four and six inches long. Lets be honest, if you want to have a debate on the topic, us women are much more interested in girth, and even more interested in how you operate your instrument!  For those who have a penis under three inches in length, your are some of the lucky guys out there that get to experience with a variety of lengths and girths.  Now a days, we have all sorts of extensions that men can purchase and if they choose, a different size every day of the week!  Men who are lengthy to begin with, need to be happy with what they have, since women may shy away from the extra long husband.  There even may be a need for modification in order to not cause his wife pain, which may become a let down in pleasure.  Lets face it, women are only so physically accommodating in this area.  Yes, a baby can exit this arena, however again, we are talking about girth here.  If a woman see` s her Mr. Extra Long husband approaching, she` s a little frightened that in the heat of the moment, her husband with thrust to hard and actually hurt her.

The thrusting impact of a penis for both the husband and wife, can be the very thing that can take your love making to a higher level.  This action, without the need of pulling back can be very freeing and a tremendous turn on.

Chances are she is feeling is the pressure of your penis against her cervix. The cervix forms the base, or a sort of neck, of the uterus.

The cervix has fewer nerves than much of the rest of the female reproductive system, which is why your wife may feel a sensation of pressure against her cervix. If, however, what she feels is pain, it may be a sign of a couple of things, including possibly a medical problem, and she might want to visit her gynecologist.

The fact that you're hitting her cervix at all may be an indicator of her body's level of arousal. Typically, when a woman is aroused, her uterus and cervix will ascend, lengthening her vaginal barrel. This usually means that the penis doesn't hit the cervix. If she feels this pressure often, perhaps it's her body's way of telling her that she's not quite ready for penetration, or that you're in too deep. Making sure she is aroused and changing positions may help.

So to sum it up, if you desire a ten inch penis, there is only 4-6 inches of it that you will actually be able to use and the rest of it will be the distance that will between you and your wife physically.  However, you will impress the other men in the gym dressing room, since they will probably be the most impressed.

The second thing has to do with a man's testicles. Size absolutely DOES matters for fertility. When I see a man who has very small testicles, chances are he'll have a very low sperm count. The testicles make sperm. It is much better that they be symmetrical – they should the same size at best. And if he has a lopsided scrotum where one side is hanging much lower than the other, this is not optimum either. It can be associated with varicose veins in the scrotum, which not only decreases sperm count but also decreases testosterone levels.

To check out the different toys that can accommodate penis size, CLICK HERE.

• Premature Ejaculation

The NUMBER ONE sexual dysfunction and common complaint of males, is a problem with premature ejaculation (and it doesn't rate very high with women either!) Less than two minutes is considered premature ejaculation; severe premature ejaculation is less than one minute – and that's after penetration. If you ejaculate before penetration, that's really severe. (This could possibly mean the need for medical intervention - please consult your doctor.) The average time a man should be able to sustain love making before he ejaculates is between 5 and 10 minutes. Between 2 and 5 minutes, you're in a grey zone.

Regardless of how long you are able to refrain from ejaculating, the main concern is, are you able to hold out until you have been able to properly satisfy your wife through her orgasm.  Simply having your own orgasm and then rolling over for a relaxed sleep and deep snoring is not OK and will leave your wife angry, dissatisfied, and unwilling to participate willingly the next time you wish to encounter your selfish night of pleasure.  Remember men, a willing wife is the sexiest type of partner to have, and in order to have one of these, you need to have a sexually satisfied wife.  It has been said, that one of the biggest things a wife wants her husband to do is to SLOW DOWN!

The chances of you and your wife orgasm at the same time during penetration is approximately 30%, which means up to 70% of women need clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm which can be hard to do while having intercourse.  A good rule of thumb would be to bring your wife to at least one orgasm release prior to you entering her vaginally.

It is a myth that intercourse alone should stimulate orgasm in most women. And this, I’m afraid, is a myth that lots of married couples believe, and it causes a lot of unhappiness, because in fact, the truth is that men very much want to make their wives happy, and they want to make their wives satisfied. Men seem to think it’s their responsibility - it` s not; and wives very much want to have good sex lives, and also feel that it is their responsibility to be satisfied by their husbands.  So although research has shown that men lie about sex more than women do, the one lie that women tend to tell most often is that they’ve been satisfied, and they lie about the fact that they’ve had an orgasm when they haven’t. So this myth really has to be busted, because women feel they ought to be having orgasms from intercourse, and men feel that they ought to be somehow providing that orgasm from intercourse. So we are then left with a very large percentage of unsatisfied wives who won` t discuss with their husband what they need because they are afraid of being inadequate lovers or a host of other issues. The biological fact remains that this is how we have been made, and we need to work with it in a way that breeds success.

 There are many techniques, squeezing the base of the penis, thinking about other things, using condoms, but those aren't very romantic. If you would like to learn more about the squeeze technique, CLICK HERE. 

• OTHER THINGS THAT CAN IMPACT LIBIDO

Excessive coffee drinking will limit your ability to have sex - it is the adrenalin that causes the problem.  Medications like Sudafed, can also cause difficulties with erection and with libido, it is even used to treat prolonged erections, to bring down the erections. (So this medication we definitely want to avoid). Also,  Sudafed and coffee may affect women from the ability to have an orgasm.

Alcohol is also an inhibitor when it comes to sex drive.  A very little amount of alcohol relaxes you; too much acts as a depressant which will limit your ability to have sex.

• THEN THERE IS FOOD.  SO I Can` t EAT AND HAVE SEX TOO!

A lot of food will limit sexual function because you have all of the blood in your belly to digest your food, but you need the blood in your penis. Here's what happens: You eat a lot of food, you get tired, you drink some coffee and you've already had a couple of drinks. If you have a cold and also take some Sudafed, you're done for. The night is a wash!

So the bottom line is keep your husband sober and slightly underfed!  lol

• PREFERENCE OF SEXUAL POSITIONS

Statistically most couples use the missionary position – especially when they are trying to have a child. When it comes to sex for fun and release (in the realms of marriage of course.) It has been said that men might prefer having sex from behind because there's less interaction, you're not making eye contact. When if you're in the missionary position, you're looking at each other. However, news flash for women, sex from behind gives a direct connection with the women` s g-spot, which can provide double pleasure, so don` t knock it till you've tried it.  Also, a women has much more control (which would seem the opposite).  She can change the level of entry by adjusting the stance of her legs, which will help the right spot to be connected with.  Men position also frees up your hands to caress your wife (even clitorally), which can enhance your wife's experience.  However, men beware...don`t minimize the importance of eye contact.  There is oodles of studies that have been done to prove the importance of eye contact and making love, so if you are enjoying this above position, balance it out either before or after with some soul gazing - eyes to eyes.  For more information on sexual positions, CLICK HERE.

For more books to help you in the intimacy arena please CLICK HERE.

Suggested toys for beginners